Sunday, January 6, 2008

Democracy in America, Skewered

Well, I can safely say that I've taken a look at the candidates following the Iowa Caucus and think that all the front-runners are putzes. However I do precurser this diatribe by saying that I think Obama is the least putzy.

Obama emerged with a wide lead over Clinton and Edwards, jump starting the brand new overarching theme that America wants Change! Really? You think? While Edwards has been spouting off talking points with his po' boy accent, he called Clinton part of the big status quo.

Meanwhile, in a debate about an issue that is driving American citizens nuts with worry, if not driving them into a second mortgage with jacked interest rates, let's talk about health care.... Video courtesy of crooksandliars.com.

Clinton attacks Obama for not mandating health care for adults because that "wouldn't make the system universal," (Obama is flipflopping). Whereas Clinton points out that Obama requires children to be covered, thus making it a two class system where children are covered and adults aren't.

Obama shoots back that he doesn't think people are opting out of health care because of a freewill decision, but because they can't afford to have a doctor give them a pill for $300. Let's focus on the high costs, but perhaps a mandate would further distance the public?

Obama maybe has a point. And a mandate for children's coverage makes sense given their complete lack of money, and no choice in the matter. Hillary tries in vain to point out the loophole in this logic: so adults have a choice but kids don't, so that's why it should be mandatory for kids? I thought you said choice wasn't the issue.

Admist the circle of logical struggle, Obama, as the brand spanking new "frontrunner," extends the peaceful message of not distorting records but rather discussing differences in policy perspectives.

The following is fake dialogue meant to satirize the situation.

Obama: "Let's not fight, Hillary. Let's chat about our differences and enjoy the white powder. Remember how one of your staffers attacked me on my "blow problem," Obama jabs.

And Edwards chimes in as his perpetual running mate self, backing up Obama agaist their newfound, common foe.

Edwards: "Hillary, you're just bitching because you're losing; I like Barak."

Hillary: "At least I'm not a stupid campaign slogan," retorts Hillary.


At this point in the campaign, all the stereotypes are coming out.

Obama is the promising new voice and frontrunner, spouting off much hot air. And hopeful hot air is still hot air. Edwards is cozying up to his future running mate. Still injecting the anti-corporate, yay working class feeling into the campaign.
Hillary is the wonkish shrew, casting off her pleasant facade and thus having her good points lost in the middle of a popularity contest.

And now lets get to the Republicans. Another live-action debate about an issue where US citizens are dying: War on Terror!

Ron Paul, another candidate that I admire/think is interesting, explains that perhaps fundamentalists abroad are angry with the US because we've interfered with their country, installing military bases, doling out weapons and protecting our resources by telling them how wonderful Jeffersonian democracy can be. See the future Taliban in the 1980s, or "Freedom Fighters," as Reagan liked to say.


Romney, who has more personalities with different positions than Sybil, says that Paul "just doesn't understand jihad." This coming from a guy that fights for gay rights, then says he's against them, fights for gun control, then boasts of his love for hunting-having shot a bird once or twice. I'm to think that this asshole understands Jihad?

I don't even want to get into Mayor 9/11's perspective. Most of his responses involve, "Hey, remember 9/11?" But here he says this "hardcore Islamist revulsion towards the states has nothing to do with our foreign policy (contrary to the 9/11 commission, mind you), but they're just bad people who need to be shown moderation.

Paul tries to explain the US policy-foreign revulsion link again: What if China came over with the best intentions and installed military bases here to change the backwardness of our society. We'd be pissed, right?

Romney, the Mormon love child shouts back with a stupid chuckle, "Your just feeding into their propaganda." Guiliani 9/11 chortles in approval for good measure.

"I've read their propaganda," said Romney with John Kerry-esque self-aggrandizement

Guiliani, Romney, Goebbels: The "Islamofascists" are against our freedom...

All in all, an iota of truth in all their perspectives. Fundamentalist Islam doesn't look too kindly on Western values, and perhaps they need to change. But is interference from a culture with which their at odds going to help? I'm inclined to say that a Muslim Martin Luther would be more productive than an Uncle Sam, but Martin Luther really doesn't have a concern about oil and national security.

I digress...Maybe these presidential candidates should have a similar conversation instead of attacking each others' patriotism or affinity for hunting...

Hey kids, speaking of propaganda. Check out the similarities in these photos between Romney and Mormon founder Joseph Smith.




On top of all the political chicanery, Bill O'Reilly accosted an Obama staffer! Wow, I need a cigarette. Shit! I can't smoke either in this democracy. Glad that we exported it to Iraq...

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